The Cardiologist says; it's time.

Every ounce McKenzie gains, we celebrate. It's a struggle to achieve these goals and most parents wouldn't understand. At almost three months old, McKenzie is still wearing newborn clothes and some are still baggy. Today, McKenzie is almost 8lbs and that is such a huge step for her weight goals.

During last weeks round of appointments, McKenzie's cardiologist decided it was time for her heart to be repaired. While this surgery was originally scheduled to happen at 4-6 months old, due to McKenzie's frequent hospital visits, low weight gain and echo results her cardiologist wants it done. We have wanted her heart repaired since she was born so she could thrive and avoid frequent hospital visits, however, now that it's time - we're terrified. 

McKenzie turns three months next week, unfortunately she will be recovering that day as the surgery center called to schedule her for Monday. So, we decided to take her third month photo early.

Today we took her to her pre-op appointment for blood, vital checks and x-rays. We also met with the surgeon and anesthesiologist to discuss the procedure. I was overall surprised with the time the surgeon took to speak with us, he was very clear and answered all of our questions. But, the truth is, with every question answered and every thought explained - I still find myself wondering so much. 

Now, sitting at home with only three days before McKenzie's surgery I am overwhelmed with fear, anxiety and sadness. I'm overwhelmed by thoughts of our week to come, scared of her surgery, anxious for her surgery to be complete and sad that she has to endure this at all. There is little comfort to be found, I intend on enjoying the next few days with her and focus on Monday when its Monday.

Meet McKeznie.

Today I realized that lately I am guilty of focusing on McKenzie's health more than I have focused on who McKenzie is. I realized that I haven't properly introduced McKenzie to the world yet; so, meet McKenzie.

McKenzie has a few nick-names; Kenzie and Kenzie-Cole. She has shown a great deal of independence and while she struggles holding her binky in her mouth, she absolutely loves it and we often spend hours holding it for her. Kenzie loves her head-chalk (hedgehog), mirror, car rides (if we are moving), anything bright, bath time (until shes cold!) and snuggles for hours.

Overall, McKenzie is such a happy baby. She only cries when something is wrong and loves getting in her PJ's around 9 pm to fall asleep and she sleeps well through the night - sometimes until noon the next day. When she wakes up, she baby-talks to herself until we hear her. She has finally found her voice and loves to tell us all kinds of baby-stuff. 

McKenzie loves to move! She kicks her feet all day long, moves down to the bottom of her crib and has found a new love for sleeping on her sides. For a baby who has had struggles throughout the last several weeks, she is the happiest, smartest, strongest little girl we know.


While we attend doctor appointments weekly and have had a few more hospital admissions, she continues to grow and advance with every day that passes. McKenzie will be a fiercely happy, independent, strong, smart and funny little girl - We struggle with wanting her to stay a baby forever and not being able wait to meet who she will become. I couldn't be more proud of her determination and full of life personality.